How To Spot An Unhealthy Friendship

I think we can all agree that a good friendship is one of the things that makes life bearable. However, do all of the people we consider friends really deserve that title? Could these relationships do more harm than good? Has the friendship run its course? When you're considering ending a friendship, here are a few questions to ask yourself.

-Is she always “just saying”? I'm referring to the person who doesn't have a “filter”; the one who doesn't think about how the things she says could affect others. Even if they mean well, it can't help but bother you when someone tells you that she loves your new haircut because the old one was “scraggly” or makes rude comments about your stepmother. Even if you're not offended by what they say, the fact that they don't think before they speak gets old quickly. If she knows you're offended by these comments and constantly makes them anyway, perhaps she's not such a good friend after all. You can tune her out when she speaks if you want, but you shouldn't have to.

-You're always “the strong one”. Strength is a great thing to have, but there are always going to be times when we need a shoulder to cry on. If your friend constantly cries on yours but doesn't offer her own, there might be a problem. I'm not talking about not asking for marriage advice from a friend who just got divorced or complaining about your mother to someone who's just lost hers; we all have times when certain subjects are raw and your friend is easily upset, but if you feel you can't talk about anything negative in our life without her having to “one-up” you or make it about her, perhaps it's time to take a walk. Charge her $80 for the therapy and move on.

-The favors are one-sided. This is related to the above. Does your friend constantly ask to borrow things or do things for her, but never seems to do the same for you? If you're always driving her places but her car is always “in the shop” when you need a lift or something always “comes up” when she's supposed to meet you somewhere, stop doing her favors. If she stops calling, you'll know she's not a good friend.

-The control freak. Does everything always have to be done “her way”? Does she insist on doing the dishes because you're not “doing it right”? Does she always have to pick the restaurant/movie/game/TV show? There's nothing wrong with having preferences, but to get upset over little things or always having to be “in charge” of everything can be a big problem.

Losing a friendship is never an easy thing to do, but sometimes we need to step back for our own mental health. If someone is always taxing your energy or generally making you feel uneasy about yourself, they're really not much of a friend. Only you can know this for sure, but at least now you have some food for thought.